I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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