actually, I'm a sock model
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Randomize
