Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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