watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
and she was petting her beer can
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
