Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize