i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Even my vagina gasped.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
i out mim tonsoeep
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize