Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
