I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
