I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
