i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
These tits shall not be calmed
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
