they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
