well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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