My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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