Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
