So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize