So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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