Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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