Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
