Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
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