sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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