? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
