I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
