You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Randomize
