Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
