I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
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