I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
I see more hoeing in ur future
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