OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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