dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
We left the knife in your bed.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
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