It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
