that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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