just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
