thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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