hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
