Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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