I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
