At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize