I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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