people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
