it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
