whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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