so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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