I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
