You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
