I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
