before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
my liver is dry heaving
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
