Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
