Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
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