I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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