If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
