She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Randomize
