Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize