I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
