...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I think my fart just growled at me.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
