i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
