who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
