Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
