so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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