i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize