is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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