Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize