when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Randomize
