So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize