My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
