look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
