They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize