Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Randomize
