I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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