I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
