I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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