We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
